Q and A

I've been asked a number of questions via email and instant messenger and idle conversation, and several keep popping up. So in case anyone else out there is wondering, here are some of the answers. And if reading about me bores you, click on <<-- this picture instead.


Q: You live with your ex-boyfriend? Is he okay with what you do? Does he know about your blog?

A: Yes, I live with him (and have since 2002), and he's a great friend to me, and he's okay with what I do. He knows about this blog but prefers not to read it. He is dating someone else, and I'm glad he's got someone. While he prefers a slightly more traditional style of life, he's both supportive of and happy for me.

Q: Do the people you write about know that you write about them?

A: Yes, and several of them have actually commented here. Which, I might add, I think is seriously cool of them.

Q: Why do you tell them?

A: I made the decision fairly early on that I would get permission to publish anything of an intimate nature about anyone else. I have several reasons for doing so. I want to try to write as objectively as possible about my experiences -- I think that's the only way to learn from what I'm doing. If the people I'm writing about can call me on any inaccuracies or missed subtleties or differences in perception, that keeps me honest. And somehow it seems only fair that they have some say over how they are portrayed to the world, even if their identities are protected. Know wha'm sayin'?

Q: Yeah, but if you know they're reading what you write, doesn't that restrain what you write?

A: I try not to let it. I realize that I lack the perspective (not to mention the credibility) to claim that it doesn't affect what I write in the least. All I can say is that I try my best to write what actually happened as though no one is reading. That's one reason my writing is about what's inside my head so much -- a lot of times, it's the only thing I know for sure really happened.

Q: Has anyone said you can't publish what you write about them?

A: Not yet. I'm very grateful for that.

I do have some new experiences to write about, but I have been stricken with the plague. Once the buboes shrink and the bleeding from the eyes slows down, I'll update.